I consider myself to be a professional imitator of adulthood. I pretend all the bells and whistles that come with the job. I work hard at letting people believe I am a well adjusted adult. This means I don’t take it lightly when I have decided to start this article like this:

             HOLY. FREEGIN. BALLS. BUY THIS GAME! BUY IT STEAL IT! BORROW IT! I beat it last night. It is absolutely everything I could ever want in a video game. You want side quests? BAM! They’re there buddy. You want loyalty to the brand? WUBAM!! No problem! You want continuity!!! HELLBAHM! It lands in your face like a hot steamy butter croissant from mother fluffin Pillsbury! This is the only game I have hungered for as badly as the remake of Final Fantasy 7. I have wanted to marry people over tattoos of this game!

I’m fairly certain I covered this in the last article I wrote. I am here solely to reassure you, this is a game worth your money. You remember the infuriating camera mechanic of both OoT and Majora’s mask? Gone. Intuitive camera angles for everybody!! And don’t be shifty and pretend you like that because of the added difficulty. It wasn’t an intentional part of the game and you’re just trying to sound like a purist. That’s stupid and so are your opinions. Gaming is the collective of disenfranchised in a non judgmental society. We love everybody. Even people who fit in high school. Knock it off. The worst part of this game was that it ended.

With smooth fluid controls, a graphical upgrade, and a kidney punch straight to the feels there is not one reason I can think of that would deter you from purchasing this game. Old fans of the game are going to fall in love all over again. New fans, look I know its a departure but relax you got ten games to fight Gannon/ what ever he turns into. Enjoy a game where you have something else to do! This is possibly the most original title in the entire series. I’ve heard plenty of complaints about the whole three day system. You want to know how to beat that? It’s super simple and you can do it like twenty minutes after starting the game. Just save your game. Once your regain kid link form run to Romani ranch and save. The grass th3dere gives up anything you could lose during time travel at least at first.

If you have a 3DS and not this game, you are missing out. Just try it.

As always follow Nerdsynq and my ramblings.

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